Total Eclipse of the Bone

Going to see Eclipse this week. Yes, still another Twilight movie without intercourse. And yet, I keep watching. When they finally do it in Breaking Dawn, Cineplex is going to have to lay down plastic on all the seats. This much sexual tension can't be good for young girls.

(No I didn't make that image)
And in case you're Team Edward, you might want to click this link to see evidence that suggests, the real reason he's holding out.

Will be in Toronto next week (What? You're not in Toronto right now? No.) for my workshop with Kelley Armstrong. She's the author of the well-known The Otherworld books, and the YA Darkest Powers series. Gotta say, I'm pretty pumped. This year is going by so fast. Soon I wrap up my creative writing course with Richard Scrimger, author of Me & Death: An Afterlife Adventure. I feel so grateful for everything good that's come my way this year. I'm at a Fork, and it's not the one filled with glittery vampires. Har, har. (Or is it Forks?) And then it's off to finding an apartment in Montreal for September. And uh, then I guess I better learn some french.

After my first day of class, I'm going to walk up to Bloor Cinema to watch Mother. Written and directed by South Korean Bong Joon-ho, the same guy who wrote and directed The Host. The Host is one of my favourite films. And I do not like sub-titles.


Wanted to give a quick review of Splice. It's one part V.C. Andrews (you know you read that shit when you were fourteen), one part science fiction and one part eighties B movie. Definitely worth watching if that sounds good to you. I enjoyed it. Couldn't speak for about five minutes after leaving the theatre, but a solid movie in the genre.

And finally, I'm sure you've all seen it by now, the video of Chris Brown pretending to cry in front of a huge audience (at the B.E.T.'s? I don't know. Something us whities aren't fameelyar with). Whether it's a case of being a shitty singer and trying to find a way around it, faking tears to portray himself as sensitive after pulverizing a woman's face, or because he's got a dick the size of a coffee bean. Who cares? The bottom line is that he cried while choking out the odd word to Man in the Mirror. We all know you can sing and cry. Who hasn't seen a season finale of American Idol? What makes Chris Brown's pain any more debilitating? If you don't already hate the guy as much as the rest of the world does, fast-forward to the 4:30 mark.

What a fag.